I see a lot of shirts adorned with the words “Be Kind”. People will lament, “what happened to good manners, to being polite”. I don’t believe in “the good old days” (good for whom). Many things are better today than in the past (think race/religion/gender). But we are far less patient than we used to be, and we get angry as a result. I think this has to do with technology, which is, by and large, a good thing. Technology means we can get what we want, when we want it, and if the item is not exactly as we want it, we can send it back and get another item in no time. We are accustomed to getting what we want. And when the service, the item, is delayed, we get frustrated, we blame someone.
I feel badly for first time workers, at fast food restaurants. I recently heard a family berating a teenager because, “we didn’t order pickles, why are there pickles on my burger!” Obviously, a little “Golden Rule” helps, imagine you are the one being spoken to this way. At church, when people are critical of volunteers, I remind them how challenging it is to be a volunteer, how the intentions of these hard working people are so focused on community. Rather than recite a rule, I remind the critic what the volunteer is offering, see if that makes a difference. I remember, in a previous church, a man was very upset because his pancake was overcooked. I said at the customer, “Here is $5, to reimburse you for your costs, I am taking it from my wallet as I am the only paid person here, the man who cooked your pancake is 85, he loves his church and the community, he has been here since 7:30 am.” He declined the $5.
Being kind feels passive. Being kind seems like the least we can offer. The same goes for respect. Surely, we can offer each other genuine interest, to help, and if we don’t have time or resources to help as the other requests, to say “I wish you all the best”. It all comes back to love, grace-filled love. We care not because the other deserves it or it is fair, but because we were made to love, to be loved. Life is a gift, we didn’t earn life or love, it was given. I feel compelled to love, as it is what I was made for. Do I always live into this? No. But that is what prayer is for, a reminder of who I am, who the other is, what we were made for.
